Balance or Burnout

I have been at times a workaholic. And on my off days I would still clean house, run errands, and give my time to everyone around me.

I never rested. I rarely did things that I wanted to do. Somedays I even gave up self-care to take care of things I really thought I NEEDED to do (spoiler alert they weren't).

So how did I go from my nonstop life to a life of balance?

I'm still working on it.

But Here is what I've learned so far.

Without balance, you will reach burnout, in one way or another. I wasn't present when I needed to be, and I was focused on the wrong things.

Who cares if we had the money to go to a fancy restaurant as long as my family was fed and we didn't have time to go to the restaurant anyway.

I lived as a single mom for a few years and even though my daughter was close to an adult and pretty self-sufficient, she still needed me.

And now that I'm married and still have a fulltime job, and the desire to go back to school, I have to ask myself "what parts of my life deserve the most attention?"

How I balance, Wife, Mom, nurse, with person so I stop myself from getting lost in the mix?

"To go beyond is as wrong as to fall short."- Confucious

Why is balance so important?

I read a blog that summarized it pretty well and pointed out that balance is important in ALL areas of life.

It's important for your health (mental and physical), for your spiritual wellbeing, for your relationships.

I'm sure you've heard it said so many times.

You can't pour from an empty cup- Anonymous

Now I'm not saying always put yourself first.

But I am saying taking care of yourself is important.

So how do you create balance?

Practical advice:

• Identify your priorities.

  • "What's really important to you? " You have to know what is important to you so you can determine where you WANT to spend your time.

• Evaluate your current schedule.

  • Write it down, google calendar it, or buy a new agenda if that motivates you. "Where are you currently spending all your time?? "

    • If you notice that you are spending 90% of your time at work, 5% on errands and 5% on family (super basic example) you'll notice that you didn't spend a single percent on yourself. I'm not going to tell you it's ok to be selfish, people use that mantra as an excuse for some pretty horrible behavior, BUT I will tell you it's ok to take care of yourself. It's ok to work on your goals.

After just these two steps I realized, I was trying to cram 48 hours of activities into a day. Ok, maybe that's an exaggeration, but you still get the point. I was doing too much, and it was no mystery why I was feeling burnt out.

Once you notice the imbalances, you can fix them, but beware that requires one thing that so many people try to avoid... Change!!!

AHHHHHH!!!!! NOOOOO not that!! I can't handle change.

Well sister, if you don't, you'll end up running on empty again at some point and eventually it'll catch up with you.

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results"- Supposedly Albert Einstein and I hear he was a pretty smart guy.

Starting small is the key to lasting change. All of life's greatest journey begin with a single step.

It's going to be different for everyone, because our lives are different. There is no one size fits all equation to finding the right schedule that will fulfill all of your needs, but here are some tips.

1. Don't be afraid to experiment. If you try something and it doesn't work for you, don't get discouraged. Example you ask. Well, if you're trying to incorporate working out into your routine, and someone tells you 5 am is the BEST time!! That person is lying, run the other way. JUST KIDDING. That may be someone else's optimal workout time, but you may not be a morning person, you might work out better right after work (I'm gasping in horror because I'm EXHAUSTED after work.) Find what works for you.
   

2. Set realistic goals and make small changes. You are not going to quit your 60 hour a week job without finding something more suitable to put in its place, but likely you can cut back, if you can't you have to determine are you really happy spending THAT much of your time at work?
   

3. Set boundaries. As the mantra goes, No is a full sentence. Don't promise someone time you don't have. Sure, emergencies arise and sometimes our schedules have to be immediately altered, but those examples are hopefully few and far between. If you set realistic boundaries, and stick to them, you will get more of the time you need to dedicate to your priorities.
   

4. Utilize your prime time. We all have that time of the day where we can get the most done, we have the most energy, we feel fueled and in "go mode". This morning, mine was at 530 am. Use that time to do the chores, to get stuff done. We feel at our best during this time, so use it to take charge.
   

5. After you take charge, recharge! If your battery is drained, you're going to have trouble achieving your goals. Find what recharges you. If it's a walk outside, cuddling up with a good book, or taking a bubble bath. Do the thing that brings you relaxation.
   

6. No man is an island. Or so they say, you need people in your life for more reasons than one. Firstly, we were created as social beings, community is how civilizations banded together to survive some pretty harsh times. "It takes a village" didn't become cliche for no reason.
   

If you are suffering any or a mix of the following you may be experiencing burnout (according to google AI, reworded by me)

1. Chronic fatigue- physical and emotional exhaustion

2. Cynicism and detachment- having an overall negative outlook and feeling detached from your world as if you're just going through the motions.

3. Reduction in productivity- not taking time for yourself to recharge actually creates a situation opposite that which you are trying to achieve.

4. Irritability and mood changes- burnout can even throw someone into depression

5. Feeling hopeless- sounds like more depression, right???

So if I feel this bad, how on earth will I have the drive to fix it??

Good question.

First, pause and breathe. You've got this.

Second, take your first step.

Third, enjoy the journey.