You're Unique, Use it

So many times, in life, I didn't think what I thought mattered enough to share it.

So many times, I would parrot the words, thoughts, and even behaviors of those around me.

I wanted to fit in.

I wanted to be liked.

I didn't want to cause trouble.

I was scared to be me.

I lacked confidence.

I lacked a true sense of self.

I didn't know my worth.

I would emulate the persona of my favorite movie and TV characters because they were popular, they were liked.

Rory Gilmore gets straight A's and reads, so I need to do that.

Tia Landry was a clean freak, so I'd clean and organize.

I thought Sporty Spice's favorite color was yellow, so my favorite color was yellow (but wait I hate yellow!!)

I'm going to be honest here; I wrote the entire blog and published it, but it did not save and for some reason only published the first quarter of what I wrote, I'm going to attempt to recreate it but who knows maybe this attempt will turn out better.

What is identity?

The second definition on dictionary.com says:

the condition of being oneself or itself, and not another.

The world says a lot about identity. The following are taken from the google AI generated search for what are popular beliefs about what identity is:

1. Identity is who we are: This is a fundamental understanding, encompassing the various qualities and characteristics that define an individual or group

2. Identity is a combination of personal and social aspects: People generally recognize the importance of both their unique individual traits (personal identity) and their affiliations with various groups (social identity) in shaping their overall sense of self.

4. Identity formation is a lifelong process: While adolescence is recognized as a crucial period for establishing a core sense of self, it's understood that identity continues to develop and be refined throughout adulthood.

3. Identity is not static: Instead of a fixed entity determined at birth, identity is viewed as fluid and dynamic, evolving over time through life experiences, relationships, and societal influences.

There were more, but I chose the few that stood out to me the most, and I rearranged them because I want to focus on that last point.

Identity is not static.

But what if we do not obtain our identity from within. Yes, we grow, we learn, our interests change. But, what if our identity comes from something more?

What if the core of our identity comes from something fixed?

I've watched my daughter struggle in a world that has so much to say about identity. I won't go off on the tangent I did in my original post, rethinking it, I don't think it was helpful.

As a parent, and as a person that has lived a life questioning who I am more times than I can count, I have tried to teach her what her identity is not.

Your identity is not based in feelings.

Feelings are fickle. They fluctuate, change and are often influenced by external forces.

When you feel like your identity is based on things that change, it is only normal to question who you are from moment to moment.

But there is hope.

The Bible teaches is that our identity does not come from within, but from above.

How much more confident would you feel to be yourself, even when you feel so different from those around you, if you knew your sense of self, comes from God?

God knows you.

Psalm 139:13,14 13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Jeremiah 1:55  “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born, I set you apart...

And not only did he know you before you were born, but He also numbered your steps. He designed a plan for you.

Jeremiah 29:11 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Now that doesn't tell you what your favorite color is, or what kind of music you will like. And as life goes, those things may change. But you are at your core will remain the same, if you have confidence in who God created you to.

"But I'm different! I don't fit in. I just want people to like me"

I've heard it.

I've felt it.

But God called us to stand out.

The world around us wants us to conform. Because who we are in God directly conflicts with the message the world wants to convey.

But what does God say?

Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

1 Peter 2:9 But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

By being who we are on Christ we have the confidence that one day we will stand and be accepted by our maker. Which make the acceptance of those around us pale in comparison.

How much more confident would be shouting to the world that your favorite color is purple, when the world says it should be pink?

Even more so, when the world wants you to live a life not pleasing to God, how much more confident will you be to stand apart, separate, different. Knowing that your life is reflecting God.

That by being different, by being your uniquely created, God ordained self, you are being a light and emulating the only person who you should aim to emulate... Jesus?